


In Which Karkat Falls Down the Stairs

by cosmicConundrum



Category: Homestuck
Genre: 4/13, Canon, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Stairs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 12:45:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10617195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmicConundrum/pseuds/cosmicConundrum
Summary: It is exactly what you think it is.





	

**Author's Note:**

> It wasn't until your loud scream equivalent to the dying cries of a thousand wrigglers that the argument over stair safety between you and John was resolved.

But maybe you should back up before going into detail on the great stair debate.

A while ago, back in the earlier stages of the game, Dave had constantly warned everyone about the stairs. Constantly. So often that most sane people would begin to ignore him. After all, no one needs to hear about the safety concerns of stairs more than four or five times an hour. But of course, Strider continued on anyway. And that was that. And because everyone always ignored him, no one was actually concerned about stair safety. But you'll get into the details of that later.

But, as you were saying.

It wasn’t until your deadly shriek of bloody murder that John (and the rest of you realized) how dangerous stairs actually were. Wait a minute, that doesn’t even make sense. The stairs must have gotten to you.

You let yourself rephrase the situation a third time, hoping to get it right.

So you were walking along the hallway, and everything was perfectly fine. Then, all of a sudden, you had tripped and done several impressive flips as you tumbled down the stairs like that hideous loose puppet Dave always complained about. Whatever, the point was that you were quite literally dead for a moment, and you had seen visions of your life flash before your glance nuggets. Images of your hideous mutant blood, of the lives of the humans, of your friends and teammates generally being idiots, and so many more had gone through your think pan that moment. But you had soon realized that you weren’t actually dead, and that you should not be surprised to know that you did not die from simply falling down a mere staircase.

It wasn’t you that had led yourself to that conclusion. It was John Egbert, of course. Who else would stare down at your limp and bruised form as you lay uncomfortably on the bumpy ridges of the stairs, and not bother to actually help you? You could only snarl a little at him, but of course it was then that he snapped out of his confused daze and bent over to ask you if you were okay.

You attempted to move, and in turn ended up rolling down the few stairs that remained. And then you became a nice soggy puddle on the ground, sick of both life and existence.

John had once again crouched by your side and gently grasped your hand, probably wondering if you were at your dying breath. You had held his hand tight, motioned for him to come closer, and when he did, you had looked him in the eye, and whispered...

“He warned us about the stairs, John. He told us so.”

John just frowned a little.

“Sheesh, I thought you were about to die or something and that this was going to be your last rant of all time!” He pouted along with the frown. You had turned your head away in disgust.

“Well, it was a running joke. See? Humor!” You had declared, waving your arms around wildly in the air before letting them plop back down to the ground.

“So, did you break anything?” John asked you, slightly more concerned.

“No, of course not!” You snorted. “Why would I break anything from rolling down the stairs?”

John simply shrugged, then decided that his legs hurt from being bent for so long, and lied down on the floor next to you. The two of you lay there for a while, staring up at the blank white ceiling above. You could burn a hole straight through whatever material the ceiling was made up of at this level of intense staring.

“And it was today that I managed to do the exact same thing you did the other day, and we are both going to ignore the fact that I made fun of you for falling down the stairs, injuring your delicate glass-boned butt and your auditory canals somehow. How the fuck do you even injure your auditory canals falling down the stairs?”

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in 2015. It sucks and I didn't proofread it. The only reason I posted it was because it is a homestuck holiday and because I feel bad for letting down all my fellow johnkatters so long ago. In other words, I'm celebrating by posting all my old works-in-progress that I never finished. They are works in progress and therefore don't make a lot of sense, and if you didn't get it, incomplete. I won't be returning to writing johnkat fics but I guess I'll always be in this fandom. I hate my life. Happy 4/13 you little pieces of garbage.
> 
> 2 out of three fics done, 1 more to go. Stay tuned for tonight.


End file.
